


Intervention

by C_C



Category: NCIS
Genre: Crack, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-08
Updated: 2013-11-07
Packaged: 2017-12-28 19:57:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/995937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/C_C/pseuds/C_C
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Abby only wants what's best for her boys.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It’s not that I thought for a second that any of them didn’t know. We’re not subtle. I’m fairly certain the guys in the mailroom and Vance know.

I suppose, when it comes down to it, I thought it was a fight club situation. They don’t speak to us about it and they certainly don’t discuss it amongst themselves.

I was clearly wrong.

I say this because I just walked into my living room to find Abby, Ducky, Tim, Ziva, Toby, Jackson, and my dad sitting in mismatched chairs facing the sofa and looking variations on the themes of determined, concerned and queasy.

Abby, obviously the ring leader, stands and solemnly intones, “We need to talk.”

“Um, okay,” I manage to eloquently reply.

“Gibbs too,” She adds.

Perhaps he heard her as he steps up behind me only a moment later and simply says, “Abbs.”

“Take a seat,” Her confidence flutters, “Please.”

I cast a wary look at Jethro and sit. He reluctantly follows.

“We’re all here tonight because we care about you. And because we care about you we can’t let this go on any longer.”

I’m admittedly shocked. I might have expected a bad reaction from Senior, perhaps Jackson, but not the team.

I tense and so does Jethro but she continues on, “We know you’ve been together three years-”

McGee interrupts her, “That we can prove.”

Abbs nods and continues, “Exactly. And absolutely everyone else knows too.” She pauses a moment as the others nod and murmur their agreement and now I’m truly lost. She addresses us both but seems to direct her attention on Jethro, “We know neither of you has had the best luck with marriage but it’s about time you get it together and tie the knot already.”

“Neither of you is getting any younger,” Jackson adds pointedly.

I’m baffled, but apparently Jethro is less surprised, “It’s not legal in Virginia.”

“It is in the district,” Senior chimes in and now I know I’m dreaming, because there is no way my dad is pushing me and Jethro to get married.

More over Jethro is looking at me like he’s expecting a decision from me.

So I do the only thing I can do, I huff an exasperated sigh, “No. I am not letting this craziness count as a proposal. You want to marry me you can ask. As for the rest of you, since when is this your business? Are we petitioning to adopt one of you? Is there a bet riding on our wedding date? Does the world end if we continue living in sin?”

They all stare at me in silence, like I’m the one who is out of line.

Finally I get up and run a hand through my hair, “I’m going upstairs to change. When I come back this place better more closely resemble a party than an AA meeting or you can all get out.”

I make it halfway up the stairs before anyone else speaks, and unsurprisingly it’s Jethro, “Abbs order some pizzas, Tobias beer run if none of you brought any.”

There was probably more but I was out of ear shot and contemplating locking myself in the bathroom.

I was sitting on the bed with my head in my hands when Jethro came in. I held up a hand to stop whatever he was about to say to me, “Don’t you dare ask me to marry you because they’re pressuring you to Jethro. Or because you feel obligated. Or because after four years ‘it’s time.’”

Jethro gently knocks me onto my back and leans over me, “You remember I told you we’re going out for our anniversary and I want you to wear that grey suit I like?” He waits for me to nod, “I was planning to ask you then. The rings are in my night stand. So stop jumping to conclusions and wallowing in bullshit self pity. I have no idea what came over them but it’s sweet, not an attack.”

“Not an attack, no. A statement that we can’t or won’t decide the details of our relationship without their intervention. And they were mostly pressuring you. Which tells me they sat down, discussed it, and decided I wanted to marry you but couldn’t get you on board. And so they set this up to ‘help’ me.”

“Then they’re idiots Tony. You have never needed help to make it clear what you want, from me or anyone else. If I was keeping you waiting beyond what you were comfortable with I have no doubt you would have made it abundantly clear to me. You certainly made sure I knew that after being burned you were not going to be the one to do the proposing.”

“The fact that you know that doesn’t make what they did any less patronizing.”

“You can still throw ’em out. Just give Tobias a chance to drop off the beer first.”

“Nah. Their hearts were in the right place. Except maybe Toby. I’ll just make sure to growl at them before I forgive them.”


	2. the party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I'm not sure it turned out as well as the original but here it is, what happens after.

When we do head back downstairs they’ve very clearly followed my instructions. The chairs are all back in their rightful places and one of them has set up an ipod on my dock. McGee is collecting cash and Toby’s no where to be found. Dad’s got Ziva on his arm and Jack and Ducky are trying to out talk each other.

Abby is sitting on the sofa looking a little upset. I sit next to her and she starts talking before I can say anything. “I’m sorry Tony. I didn’t mean anything by it. I just thought you guys thought it was a secret and weren’t getting married to keep from being outted. I just wanted you to know it was ok and that we all want you to be able to be open and happy.”

As we both knew I would I fold before I can even snap at her, “You say you’ve had proof we’re together for three years, you think we didn’t expect you to know?”

“You pretend you don’t live here,” She counters softly.

“I get my mail delivered to a PO box, I haven’t claimed to live anywhere else since I moved. Toby always bitches about tripping over my sneakers. You can’t tell me you had your little meeting and he at least didn’t know I live here.” I lean forward and kiss her forehead, “I appreciate what you were trying to do Abbs, I do. I don’t particularly care for the implication that I need the help. Next time you want to let someone know you’re in on their secret tell them that, ok hon?”

“But we’re okay?” I think the most effective thing about Abby’s puppy eyes is that they aren’t deliberate.

“We’re good. Now let’s go rescue Jack and Ducky from each other.”

Toby arrives with the beer shortly after that: three cases of my preferred brand, two of Jethro’s and two of his own, his idea of an apology. Considering that it’s more than a little likely he was in on Jethro’s plans as well as Abby’s he better damn well apologize for this.

The pizza guy follows him up the front walk and just like that it actually feels like a party. Aside from the part where they’re all looking to me occasionally like I’m going to throw them out.

It’s actually Toby that turns it all around. He calls across the room, “Hey Scuito, show your movie.”

“But they didn’t-”

He grins and interrupts her, “Show it anyway.”

I’m intrigued by it and clearly so are the dads, so obviously not everyone was in on whatever this is.

When the first title card pops up I recognize the concept, my buddy Nick’s wife did it at their engagement party. I’m about to growl at both Abby and Toby when Jethro takes my hand in a rare public display.

As images of my unfortunate childhood and teenage years slide across the tv I risk a glance around the room and find that no matter that the others are snickering, Jethro just looks charmed as hell.

And admittedly, when it switches over to pictures of a young Jethro I’m just as charmed.

The part that saves the day however is exactly which pictures Abby has chosen to show us as a couple.  The first is presumably their “proof” that we’re a couple. Though whether the proof lies in that Jethro put the damn tie on, that I’m straightening it, or that his hand is on my lapel while I do it I’ll have to ask Abbs or Probie later. I will admit that it’s more explicitly a picture of us as a couple than what follows it. But in quirky Abby fashion there’s a humor to most of the photos, especially the ones in short sequences or juxtapositions. Soon we’re all laughing.

The party lasts well into the night and when I wake up Jackson is cooking breakfast. Senior’s reading the paper. The stony silence and soft swish of sandpaper tell me that something’s gone wrong in the predawn hours.

“Whose funeral should I be planning?” I ask to break the tension as I pour a cup of coffee.

Senior slowly lowers the paper, “Jack’s a bit of a tyrant in the kitchen.”

I laugh because I know it’s true. The one time I tried to cook while Jackson was staying here he threatened me with a spatula. His cooking was far from a hardship but it was somewhat insulting all the same. “That explains this,” I gesture to their respective positions. “But why is Jethro downstairs at this hour?”

“I used caramel mocha beans in the coffee,” Jackson smirks at me.

“You’re a sadist, aren’t you Jack? I’m going to have to go half way across town and spend an ungodly amount on Johansen’s and he’s still going to be a bear with a sore head until at least noon.”

The both look at me like I’m adorable.

I choose to ignore that and head down to see if I can rescue my day. A well planned kiss and an offer of good coffee seem to push it in my favor but only time will truly tell.

 ~~~

Vance enters his office after lunch and finds not only his mail but three twenties paper clipped together. He smirks and pockets them before flipping through the mail and finding Abby’s note.

“Plan back fired. Maybe it was best you missed the intervention.”

He laughs out right at that and grabs a fresh toothpick before getting back to work.


End file.
